Turf: J.A.C.R.
Participant: If this young lady is a sign of the times, then stop the world... I'm going to throw up. We'll call'er PartyAnimal.
Agent 001: Assuming the usual role.
(Once inside the Bug Jar...)
PartyAnimal: HI
Agent 001: How's it going?
PartyAnimal: GOOD AND YOU?
Agent 001: I'm chilling. What's your story?
PartyAnimal: HUH?
Agent 001: I SAID: WHAT'S YOUR STORY!?
PartyAnimal: ABOUT?
Agent 001: That's right. What's your story about?
PartyAnimal: I DONT HAVE ONE!
Agent 001: You don't have a story? Not even one?
PartyAnimal: NOPE
Agent 001: So what are you; inert?
PartyAnimal: HUH?
Agent 001: You have no story so I'm guessing you're just inert. Am I correct?
PartyAnimal: WHAT DOES INERT MEAN?
Agent 001: Do you have a dicitonary where you are? PartyAnimal: NO
Agent 001: How about a mirror?
PartyAnimal: YEAH
Agent 001: That'll do. Anyway, what did you do this past weekend?
PartyAnimal: WENT TO MY AUNTS HOUSE
Agent 001: And did you do anything there? Or did you just kind of stand in one spot - motionless for 48 hours?
PartyAnimal: PARTIED
Agent 001: Could you elaborate? 'Cause right now, I'm picturing you, standing in the middle of a living room, with a cone hat on and a party whistle in your mouth - motionless.
PartyAnimal: HMMM HAVE U EVER PARTIED BEFORE OR DO U SIT AT HOME AND BE A STUDENT AND READ BOOKS AND OVERDOSE ON THE NEWS
Agent 001: What do you think I am somekind of loser? I just want to know what you call a party.
PartyAnimal: WELL I DRINK.... I KICK BACK. AND TO UR QUESTION...YES
Agent 001: And to my question what?
PartyAnimal: NEVERMIND.....SO DO U PARTY
Agent 001: If by party you mean, kicking back and getting ripped... No.
PartyAnimal: THEN WHAT DO U DO
Agent 001: Oh I like to party... But what you said doesn't exactly sound like a party. More like loneliness and masichism.
PartyAnimal: WHEN I SAY PARTY I DONT EXACTLY MEAN GO TO WILD PARTIES..... BUT ITS JUS LIKE A TERM TO USE WHEN U DRINK OR WHATEVER. WHY DO U CUT YOURSELF AND WHY ARE U LONELY
Agent 001: No, I think what you do sounds lonely and masichistic.
PartyAnimal: NO ITS NOT LONELY BECAUSE ID BE WITH MY FRIENDS. SO WHAT DO U DO SINCE U DONT PARTY
Agent 001: And are your friends really that bad?
PartyAnimal: NO
Agent 001: Then why don't you enjoy their company that much?
PartyAnimal: I DO!! INEVER SAID I DIDNT
Agent 001: Well when you get together for a party then you get drunk right?
PartyAnimal: YA!!
Agent 001: Well what is it about them that you hate so much that you feel the need to seek the state of inebriation in order to feel comfortable?
PartyAnimal: SPEAK ENGLISH YO. WE GET 'INEBRIATED' BECAUSE ITS FUN....THERE'S NOT EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS OR ANY MASOCHISTIC SHIZNIT EITHER
Agent 001: Shiznit? Is that in fact English?
PartyAnimal: WHAT DO U DO FOR FUN
Agent 001: Try to guess.
PartyAnimal: UM READ THE DICTIONARY
Agent 001: Yeah but I haven't gotten to "S" yet so I can't say I know what "Shiznit" means...
PartyAnimal: OK NOW TELL ME WHAT U REALLY DO
Agent 001: I would have thought it was obvious by now. Let's just say I like to play.
PartyAnimal: HOW OLD ARE YOU?
Agent 001: 65. You?
PartyAnimal: UM OK BYE
Agent 001: Cheerio!
(Am I a bastard or what?)
