Turf: One fine afternoon while downloading some fine tracks, a bug jumped up into the Jar via Napster "instant message".
Participant:We'll call'im JohnnyNoStars; (from the star rating system on name badges of fast food workers).
Agent 004: Trying to mind his own business.
(Once inside the Bug Jar...)
JohnnyNoStars: I think not.
Agent 004: Thanks for that, 97% downloaded and you cut me off.
JohnnyNoStars: Lifes tough
Agent 004: made tougher by cat stabbers like you.
JohnnyNoStars: Everyone gets what they deserve sucka
Agent 004: Oooh Yeah, gotta agree with you there.
JohnnyNoStars: I would have let you DL fat boy slim remix of I see you baby but I checked out your library and it is way way poor and embarrassing
Agent 004: Is it, is it really! I'd say you must have been playing the invisible banjo when you were downloading your collection.
JohnnyNoStars: Meaning?
Agent 004: My collection rocks and yours sux. You must have been distracted while you down loaded it.
JohnnyNoStars: No youtys, it sux, Ive never seen such a succy collection
Agent 004: I have the best collection ever.
JohnnyNoStars: Every Louis Arm track and every remix and sample Louis A ever is the worst, man.
Agent 004: IS that so?
JohnnyNoStars: yeah
Agent 004: YEAH
JohnnyNoStars: YEAH
Agent 004: That's as rich as a butcher's turd; you've got several Kylie Minogue trax in there!!!!!!!!! You're a gimpster, nothing surer.
JohnnyNoStars: louis armstrong , old dead boring trumpet music and you have evryting they;'ve ever done
Agent 004: Armstrong swings.
JohnnyNoStars: Yeah I rest my case
Agent 004: When Napster goes offline you'll be starved of SHITE music, what'll you do????
JohnnyNoStars: They got a reprieve we are talking fool
Agent 004: OK, so you've got another week to download a lifetimes supply of SHITE!
JohnnyNoStars: My tunes are btter than 100000000000 versions of th same songs by a dead trumpet dude
Agent 004: I bow to your superior tastes; Boyszone and the Back Street Boys are by far greater talents than some dead guy called Louis Armstrong
JohnnyNoStars: On your knees boy..
Agent 004: While I'm down here could you possibly put on a track by that musical genius britany spears? I notice you have all of her works.
JohnnyNoStars: That’s why I cut you off, for your bad tast and you don nknow nothing
Agent 004: well, as I don't know nothing I must therefor know something, and I've got something for you. Do you wanna know what I've got for you?
JohnnyNoStars: Yeah
Agent 004: Are you sure?
JohnnyNoStars: What chu talking about lious
(Oh a "Different Strokes" gag; Oh the wit, at this point my sides are splitting as if I was watching an original episode)
Agent 004: Oh, so funny, well, it's like this. While I've kept you reading and writing, I've downloaded all I want from your library.
(No response.)
Agent 004: Where are you Arnold? Do you know what I'm talking about now? Oh, I see you've officially ignored me. Enjoy your muzac.
