Anna Sheftel I'm a loner. You wouldn't know it if you looked at me, and it may even come as a surprise if you know me, but it's true. I didn't want to admit it for the longest time, because it seems that most people like to equate the word "loner" with the word "sociopath". Nevertheless, I'm cool with it now. Don't get me wrong- I love people. I adore meeting new people and discovering how we can be exactly the same and completely different at the same time. I find it fascinating to learn about people's varied backgrounds, and about their personal baggage and their secret ambitions. This is one of the reasons I'm completely addicted to travelling; the excitement of meeting so many edifying new people is incredible. Despite all this, though, I'm still a loner. Why? Maybe because I find that I appreciate people and the insight they have to share more when I have a little time to myself too. I'm not into that TV-sitcom dimension where there is someone around you 24/7, and where the conversation flows like the oh-so subtle product placements. There is something very precious about spending a solitary night at home receiving no phone calls. Reading a book in a coffeeshop by oneself. Or, heaven forfend, enjoying a movie with a big bag of Twizzlers, gasp, ALL ALONE! I recently came back from a trip where I spent a month travelling by myself. Now, to say this is a little misleading, since the nature of travelling by oneself usually involves meeting up with thousands upon thousands of people, but nonetheless, there is a solitude to it. I could make all of my own decisions, and I had full control over what I wanted to do. I never felt like I was tagging along, or like someone was tagging along with me. I didn't have to deal with bullshit idiosyncrasies or whiny monologues. I felt, cheesy as it may sound, incredibly free. I also really appreciated the people I met along the way. When you're with someone, it's very easy to isolate yourself from the rest of the world; you don't need anyone else to get by. This often robs you of getting the full and wonderful experience, and from mingling with people from hoards of different and interesting cultures. I learned so much from some of the people I only knew for day that my brain feels too full to be going to school anymore. When you're alone, you go out there, and you learn things for yourself. It was such a rewarding experience, I am stunned that I ever travelled any other way. The same philosophy can be applied to every day life as well. When I'm hanging out by myself, I can adopt whatever attitude suits my mood. If I'm feeling closed off from the rest of the world, I can be introverted and keep to myself and not get any shit for it. If I'm in extroverted mode, I can be social and meet people that I would not have bothered talking to had I been with a group. I can be myself, and not the personality that I have been assigned in my particular clique. Having a good time when I'm alone fills me with so much self-confidence it's thrilling. It really does strike me that people who need to constantly be surrounded by others often have serious insecurity issues. They need to be validated as if their acquaintances measured their worth. They're afraid of really listening to themselves and what they want, of having any "me-time." Juvenile as it may sound, they seem scared to death of being by themselves because it is "uncool." These people are missing out on how healthy a little solitude can be. I love my friends a whole lot, and they mean the world to me, but they're not the air I breathe. I like having some space too, and I'd like to advise everyone to do that every once in a while. Don't be afraid of the silence, of your own thoughts, of the freedom to choose whatever you want. It doesn't have to be taboo. Embrace you independence, don't see it as defeat. Hell, it'll make you love your friends even more. Trust me. I can't be alone in this, can I?