"I'm not half the man I used to be now I have this shadow hanging over me" - The Beatles I consider myself a moralist, and on average I am probably more vigilant about leading an ethical existence than most people. In fact, most of the time I feel like I'm the only one who gives a fuck about anything.   So, after many readings in moral philosophy I find myself spending sleepless nights considering everything that is wrong with this world. Granted, this is a little extreme and hopefully its' just a phase but things recently just got worse. I realized that there is a revolution going on inside everyone's head. As in 1789 French students and populists raged out against the bourgeoisie in an attempt to regain their freedom from an outdated system of taxation, and with the enlightenment on the verge, it was time.   Well, my time is now and my revolution is in full swing, but unlike the French, I think I'm fighting a losing battle.   Stephen J. Gould, a prolific writer and an advocate of science, said that even though human beings have the capacity to be moral doesn't always mean they will be. The beautiful revolution is the fight between the emotive and the rational.   I could easily attribute most of my dejection to this constant and perpetual internal conflict. I side with good reason and logical deduction when it comes to the 'fork in the road', as opposed to where 'following your heart' can be misleading because feelings change like the four seasons; however, in spite my efforts I'm not winning. "Lets' shed some light on the darkness of greed" - Zack De La Rocha Even in some of the most simplified scenarios where a bend in ethics meant a large gain, I have, with no hesitation, done the right thing. That is, if I were in the other persons place what outcome would I have wanted.   In Calgary Alberta three years ago I was getting on a plane to go home to Montreal for a month before work started back out west. In the parking lot I found a wallet with at least a thousand dollars in it; I was going home because money was too tight to stay. At the information desk the lady was bewildered and perplexed; morality can be fun!   However, in the last couple of months a different kind of forbidden fruit was dangled in front of me and in spite my good judgment I cracked. Moreover, entwined in the regret I can't help but admit that I liked it. I can no longer call myself a moralist because I wilfully gave up that right. "The world is a vampire" - Billy Corgan Usually pop music icons aren't so insightful but I think at one time or another the world has sucked life out of all of us. One may choose to turn off the "thinking" in ones head, but for those of you who dare put themselves up to the light and ask: am I bullshit or am I right?, remember the utilitarian view in the words of Bertrand Russell: "Do that act that maximizes pleasure and minimizes' pain to all sentient beings affected in the long run." ... your local bitch, marc schultz.