Anna Sheftel I've been observing the sociological phenomenon known as "dating" for a while, and more and more, it's making me feel unusually violent.   Why would I object to something as wonderful as two people finding love, companionship, or just a quick lay together? Well, lately, I've noticed that most people suffer from what I called "Shopping List" syndrome. Basically, upon arrival to the dating "scene", they make shopping lists of what they want from a partner, such as, for example: blue eyes, a sense of humour, a car, the ability to cook, being single, a knowledge of late Renaissance sculpture, etc. And when a pair of people fits each other's lists, they pair up and having a spankin' good time.   My issue with this is the fact that there is absolutely no concern for, say, whether or not you actually like the person, or whether there is any, oh I don't know, chemistry. No, dating is an efficient thing, and people play the game like they buy groceries. They go through the routine and they get it done because it's the normal way to go about these things, and it is all so cold and sterile that it's really quite sad. I have never seen more superficial relationships than these kinds, because the core of the relationship centres around being a couple, rather than actually enjoying each other's company and forming somewhat of a meaningful connection.   For this, I blame the importance put on having a partner. No matter how much all these girls now love to talk about being "independent women" and self-sufficient, somehow there is still something wrong with a person who is single. We wonder why they're single, what their problem is. Because you're not anyone unless you routinely fit, "Well my boyfriend just said the other day..." or "Oh, I'd love to but I'm meeting my girlfriend..." into your daily conversations. Yeah, have your fun talking about being all independent while you refuse to make plans for Saturday night until you know what Mr. Perfect wants to do.   Like diamond earrings and ugly sports cars, significant others have become status symbols. You're not anyone unless you've got one, and you're even better off if it's the latest version, all shiny and pretty, with all sort of cool gadgets. It's not about connecting with someone, it's about having someone on your speed dial. And because of this, we're all insanely pressured to find someone, whether we like them or not, and fast. So we make our shopping lists, and we go out and hunt for the right candidate, and we totally ignore in our hearts, we're still just as lonely as we would have been sitting at home watching tv. We are so damn sure that this is making us happy, that we really do like him/her, because wouldn't it just be too complicated if we weren't satisfied with someone even though they fit the essential qualification of fluency in Spanish?   I'm not bashing love, or lust, or any variations thereof. Relationships can be wonderful and fulfilling, whether they're one night stands or long-term commitments. But I can just about promise that this fulfillment will never come if one approaches a relationship with a shopping list mentality. There's something wrong with searching so hard for someone; it's just too forced. If we all just calmed down a bit about the whole ordeal and let things happen in their due time, rather than forcing them like a mismatched puzzle piece, then we'd probably be a whole lot better off.   I, myself, am single, and happy that way. If I find someone that makes my knees quiver, than great, but I'm sure as hell not about to go searching for a remedy to what some see as my severe illness of "singledom". While it can get lonely sometimes, I think it's nowhere near as lonely as lying next to someone with whom I share nothing. I'd rather have the bed all to myself.