All-Talk Woodstock

Justin A. Guy

What? Did you really think I could leave this one alone?

  Let's get the facts out of the way: One, I was never at the original Woodstock, neither were my parents. Two, I was no where near the second "Woodstock" as the entire concept was so ridiculous that it hurt me just to be in the same hemisphere as the event. Three, I couldn't be bothered with this 30th anniversary job at all, other than to bad mouth it after it was all over.

  The obvious points are the only ones I'm going to ramble about today. I'm not going pretend there is anything deeper to discuss. I just have to let it out.

  I caught a sound bite of "one of the organizers" trying to explain to the press just what could have possibly gone wrong at this year's event. For those of you living in a box or on the other side of the world, or simply too intelligent to waste any time or money on the subject; this year's Woodstock ended with massive rioting and numerous out of control fires.

  So this "organizer"/promoter/capitalist was stumped. "I don't' know," he said, (I'm paraphrasing here so don't start with me) "I guess some kids just wanted to get some angst out."

  Oh, was that it? Well I went to a few concerts in my day and I never felt so angst ridden at the end of it that I felt the need to trash the place.

  Hm, maybe this is a more likely explanation: Three hundred thousand sex crazed people, three days of sleep and cleanliness depravation, profuse amounts of alcohol and drugs, malnutrition and dehydration due to food priced at 12$ for a slice of pizza topped off by the fact that you're in the middle of nowhere. Hey, I'd say it's time to get a little Waco.

  As I mentioned, I was nowhere near the joint, so there you have it my relatively uneducated observations. Most mobs consist of a handful of nuts and a crowd of followers. I'm sure there were a good deal of well behaved people at Woodstock '99. But please, please don't give me this peace and love number in the same breath as the word Woodstock. The original Woodstock was full of shit as far as I'm concerned anyway, so don't go painting peace symbols on your nipples at the thirtieth anniversary.

  What's that? Did he just say the original Woodstock was full of shit? Yeah that's right. I grew up watching footage and documentaries on Woodstock and it looked like a beautiful thing. The musical part seemed that way, as far as I'm concerned. But don't tell me it was anything more than Woodstock '99 on the peace and love issue. Drugs and orgiastic sex, that's Woodstock, thirty years ago or today. What good is peace and love in the middle of some farmer's field in upstate New York? What good is it unless you bring it home with you and live it everyday of your life and teach others to do the same? It's full of shit otherwise - and that's all I see now; a T&A fest on Pay-per-View.


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