List of Songs along with a brief background about the inspiration behind this unavailable album, Beer, by Tom Simpson. 1. Mock Turtle Neck This is a BS name. I prefer to call these "extended T-Necks". If it were related to the Turtle Neck wouldn't you be able to roll the Mock neck down? Just a little bit? 2. Barn Burner These events are usually fun but I went to a funeral a while back that was a real Barn Burner. 3. Bed Knobs And Broom Sticks A great deal of our children's stories and nursery rhymes are grown from deeper darker roots. I sincerely hope this one isn't. 4. Multi-Tasker Before the Information Age it used to be good if you could walk and chew gum. Now you have to do this and operate a frikin' computer. 5. Colour Commentator He's coming around from behind the net... oh Jesus he just got his head caved in by a blazing slap shot. 6. Italian Table Cloth Question: Would President Muhammad Anwar al-Sadat feel complimented about the use of his hat for a table cloth or insulted? 7. Drifter He was a "loner". We hear this about serial killers all the time. Somehow I think we are pegging a lot of drifters as loners. Just 'cause you're a drifter you end up on a suspect list somewhere. Hell, this is just wrong! 8. Road Side Attraction My Dad NEVER stopped at these. I'd be frikin' screaming things like, "Oh Sweet Baby Jesus in NEED to go to Dinosaur Land" or "I will DIE if we don't go to see the world's largest origami". 9. Micro Brewery A good marketing move for these guys would be to put the beer in smaller bottles. How many times have I stood there staring at the beer wondering which ones are micro brews? Come on help us out here, walk the walk! 10. Clock Radio I think having a clock built into the radio really makes you think twice before smashing it to pieces.