from tyler gibb   The following is an angry article about how the city of Montreal is absolutely idiotic, repulsive and corrupt; and how I'm right and they're wrong.   Rewind to the descriptively named Ice Storm '98. In case you hadn't heard, due to some huge icy weather phenomenon and a touch of negligence on all our parts; most of Quebec was paralyzed last January. For some it was only weeks and for others up to and over a month of blackouts, collapsing trees, closed roads and so on. Total chaos.   The military (hang on, reflect on that for a sec, it's pretty funny in itself... the Canadian military!) was called in to remove debris from the streets and clean up fallen hydro towers. It was havoc and for someone like myself who did not flee to relatives abroad but who stuck it out in the city, having an automobile and no garage was a 24 hour baby-sitting operation.   There was zero street parking, even in the best areas. People were cramming their automobiles into icy snow banks nearly perpendicular to the road or simply abandoning their cars anywhere.   I parked outside my building, having cut myself a nice little nook in the glacier with a shovel. All were asleep in my apartment; my roommate, my girlfriend, her family who were being housed at our place until they got the power back on; and myself. All our sleep was frazzled just after 8 o'clock by the sound of some wailing siren and the endless sound of snow removal which we'd all gotten accustomed too. We faded back into sleep despite it.   I woke to find that my car was missing.   The town had apparently stuck flimsy, cardboard, 8 1/2 by 11" no-parking signs in the ice bank notifying us of some snow removal in the not so distant future. Now, let's recall the scenario: Worst ice storm the planet has seen since 65 million years ago, constant freezing rain, constant turmoil on the streets and these daft city workers think cardboard signs are going to survive this? The signs were nowhere in sight when I parked there! To see one would have been grand, I'd have slept in my car the whole night just to accommodate the snow removal; but the signs simply weren't there anymore had they been there at all in the first place!   I found my car. They'd towed it to a boulevard and it was a mess with caked on slush, ice and stones, beneath which I found a ticket under my wind-shield wiper. After all everybody was going through these ignorant, brainless officials were still handing out fines. I'd been paying my dues! I was out there, voluntarily, without help, removing trees from the roadways, helping people get their vehicles out of banks and I asked for nothing in return. Just to be left alone to stick it out. And this is my thanks.   I pleaded not guilty to the ticket. Apparently those bizarre sirens everyone in my home had heard were warning sirens for drivers to come and move their vehicles. This was not something they taught in driving school. So apparently we as modern humans are suppose to be born with this inherent knowledge that a loud wailing siren in the wee morning, is suppose to mean; "Hey, human, go move you're car." Just to be sure this was in fact not part of our human make- up I consulted an anthropology text book and guess what: It's not.   My not guilty plea was just rejected, now, almost a year later. I don't have the strength to fight this in court. It would be easier to ask the judge to step out from behind his podium and kick me in the testicles.   The city of Montreal is the ugliest place on Earth today. I understand that whatever foolish onion ticketed my car was probably disgruntled for having to work under those conditions and so forth; but I wrote a really great not guilty letter explaining the whole situation and in the aftermath those ignoramuses at city hall should have understood. There is no justice. So unfortunately this winter I won't be pushing any stranger's car out of the snow. I won't be clearing any debris from the roads. And if there's another ice storm; well too bad Montreal, you're on your own.