from tyler gibb   What happened to Clonnus Alias will always remain a mystery. What story could be told was pieced together from the artifacts in his apartment and the thousands upon thousands of files on his computer's hard drives and library of cd roms. What led up to his disappearance could be surmised as follows: Sometime in the early summer months Clonnus woke up to the reality of his little world. This rude awakening came in the form of a poignant stench that rose up and lingered for a couple of days in the living room of his down-town apartment. It was a couple of days before Clonnus worked up the motivation to investigate the foulness.   Through stacks and piles of disheveled documents, old newspapers, clothing, boxes and more, he shoveled his way to the back of the living room. The stink was intolerable there and he had to retreat slightly to recover his breath. Carefully he removed boxes and bound bundles of paper from a mass of dust laden articles against the far wall. Like a mason undoing his work, Clonnus plucked brick for brick until he could lean in to the small hollow behind the wall of garbage. There was a window with the shade drawn hidden behind the boxes. The stench was bursting from this hollow and Clonnus struggled to draw the blind so that he could open the window to breathe. The blind flapped up, light charged in and Clonnus reeled at the sight of Spock, his fat orange cat lying dead and decomposing in the otherwise empty space. That was the wake-up call that would start Clonnus on the road to cleaner, healthier living. Clonnus Alias was not the only victim of this new and improved life style which he hoped to achieve.   A few days later, Clonnus explained to Aida Sun how he had peeled the oozing feline off his stain resistant carpet by the tail and stuffed it into a shoe box. She was appalled.   Aida was what would be commonly known as a girlfriend to Clonnus. The two more or less fell into place with one another in college just over two years ago. They had at first only engaged in the activities of a platonic relationship until one hung-over morning when they woke up naked beside each other six months ago.   The two didn't appear to share much except for the fact that they were sex and love starved and valued their private space more than anything, it would seem. The topic which superseded any other in starting arguments between the two was who's apartment to hang out at whenever they got together. Ultimately they usually settled upon a filthy little Greek restaurant that lay exactly at the middle-most point between their buildings. Lunch or dinner at the restaurant was always quick and gratuitous public displays of affection led to a coin toss at which home they would return to for full fledged sexual gratification.   As much as Clonnus, Aida was a pack-rat, herself. Opposite to Clonnus, she actually cleaned frequently however and her collection of useless junk was of the knick-knack kind.   When she arrived at his apartment one afternoon, a few days after Spock had been discovered festering, Aida immediately remarked upon the change in the environment. Things were different in the bachelor pad. There was light coming in from a window she never knew he had and it looked as though many of the piles of documents had been reduced in size.   "Clonnus, have you actually been cleaning?" she inquired when she found him in his office moulded around his swivel chair in front of his computer console.   "Sort of, sort of! What do you think?" he was visibly enthusiastic.   "Good start," she gazed around the office which had also seen some considerable depletion of stacked material. "But where is everything? Did you find a closet you didn't know you had?"   "Nope. Better!" He motioned for her to come in and had a look at the biggest of his illuminated computer monitors.   "What's this?" Aida asks of the multi-layered document up on the screen.   "Movie stubs from seventy seven through to eighty nine," he grinned. "Backs and fronts. I was just getting into the nineties."   "You're scanning your movie stub collection into your computer?"   "Yeah! But not only that," he continued. "I've done my whole collection of; birthday cards, item number stickers from fruits, baseball cards, bookmarks and tomorrow I'm going to make 360 degree videos of my spoons, pop cans, thimbles, hundred-year-old-eggs and everything!"   "So you're essentially backing-up your junk?"   "No, but I will make back-ups of these after I put them all on cd and then I can get a book shelf for the cds and I can throw out all the clutter!"   "You mean you're going to digitize all your junk and then clean-house?" Aida gasped.   "Uh huh." Clonnus smiled; he was very pleased with himself.   "Wow," she said. "That's really something."   "Time to get with the times, Aida, the world is getting smaller."   "I guess..." She put her hands on his round shoulders. There was something about his spirit and enthusiasm about making a drastic change in his life that was arousing to her. She kissed his neck.   "Ah! Ah! Not right now, hon, I've got a lot of work here. Don't you have work to go to?"   Aida backed off, bruised, she'd never been refused before. "Yeah, I guess I should just get out of your way," she headed towards the door slowly. She wanted to be stopped.   "Okay, see you later," he waved his hand without so much as swiveling around to see her off.   (next)