Pepper of the Earth Ted Nugent - Double Live Gonzo Everybody has a friend that loves to play practical jokes on you when you least expect it. Don't they? In our late teens my friends and I used to hang out at this fabulous drinking and eating establishment called Le Manior. They make a great steak and you can order your beer by the quart. What could be more fun then swilling beer munching on steak and rapping with your friends about life and nonsense? Not necessarily in that order. On this one particular evening, our group of four sat at a table located close to the exit. I was conversing intensely with Scott about automobiles or something of great value while Duane and Dave appeared to be listening in as well. I did notice however that Duane was busy playing with the pepper, making little piles in his hand and swirling it around with his finger. Duane loves to play a good joke and he loves to laugh so as he was swirling he was chuckling to himself. We all should have seen something coming. By nature Duane is a kind outgoing person but he sometimes overlooks details. As I spoke I was interrupted by Duane calling my name. I turned my head and Duane's practical joke fell apart. The last thing I saw was Duane leaning toward his hand and blowing. I even knew at that moment that he had glorious visions of his handful of pepper going straight up my nose and causing me to sneeze out of control for several minutes. Unfortunately Duane overlooked all the physical properties of pepper and a swift breeze. The entire handful of pepper went directly into my eyes. I began by screaming intensely and clutching my face. I assumed this was standard behavior and wasted no time. As I did this Duane offered his arm as he felt I had earned the right to punch him with all the force I could stir up. I was far too distracted by my inability to see or rid myself of this intense burning sensation in both of my eyes. I lunged at the table looking for a beer glass. By this time both Scott and Dave were inquiring as to why Duane may have done this. I guess this was a reasonable question but I was not sticking around to hear the answer. I dumped the beer from my glass and felt my way to the men's wash room. I stood at the sink with my head back and began pouring glasses of water into my eyes. The bathroom door flew open and a stranger bearing another glass asked me what the hell happened and who the hell was that guy? I thanked him for the glass and explained that this guy was one of my best friends and that he is a little dangerous from time to time. The stranger left the bathroom and I don't think he had a great deal of sympathy for me. After 10 or 15 good rinses I began to get my sight back. I glanced at myself in the mirror. I looked like crap my eyes were red like fire and my shirt and pants were drenched with water and sweat. I went back to the table and there they all sat. Scott and Dave laughing and Duane looking as sheepish as I have ever seen him. I knew he didn't mean it but I was astonished at his shortsightedness. I ordered another beer which Duane kindly paid for and we completed our evening peacefully. Over the years I could not help but notice that I was Duane's primary target for these practical jokes. I also find it amazing how I rarely come out of his practical jokes unscathed. You gotta love the guy, don't you?