Outage in Toasterville Bad Company One evening Scott, Mike and I were sitting at the local drinking hole. In fact we sat there until 1:00 a.m. when Scott had an idea. He put his fist down on the table and said, "Let's go to the cottage." I thought for a few moments. I thought about the weather in late January. Minus 20 Celsius... Hmmm. Then I thought about the time. I can't go get any provisions. I'd wake my folks... Hmmm. "Great idea," I shouted and we hit the road. Mike took a little extra convincing but he came along unwillingly. We were a bit concerned about the limited supply of beer but we managed just fine. The drive was about an hour and forty-five minutes. It was very cold and very slippery. The three of us were crammed into a 1976 Honda Civic. Due to the time (and nothing else!?) the drive seemed a little more dangerous than usual. We knew when we got there that we could just wade down hill through the snow to the cottage. Once in the cottage we would turn on the heat, light a couple of Kerosene heaters, light the fireplace and blast the oven. And a few short hours it's Toasterville, a nice place to visit. We arrived at the cottage around 3:30 a.m.. We pulled up to the foot of the driveway to see that the uphill portion of the driveway was not plowed yet. We had a beer and started the hike. It's not that it's a long distance but none of us were dressed properly and the snow was 18 inches deep. It took five minutes to get to the top of the driveway. Scott got there first and simply said, "Oh cool!" I imagined I would see a snow bank covering the back of the cottage or something. I remember clearly, I reached the top of the driveway and stood there. The wind off the lake was cutting through my clothes and I could feel my face tighten up. I looked down to see that a 40-foot pine tree had fallen and missed the back of the cottage by inches. Thank god, I thought. Then I notice that the tree had cleanly taken down the power lines and we were screwed. I had totally disregarded Scott's unique grasp on sarcasm. Too tired to drive home we decided to get inside and get a fire going. We could figure things out from there. The thermometer on the wall inside the cottage read -21 C. There were several comments regarding this but none of us even suggested heading home. We immediately built a fire. Then we had a beer. In fact we had several beers before we came to the conclusion we were all totally freezing and very tired. We needed to sleep. The bedrooms were out of the question. I think you'd be warmer in a snow bank by the road. We gathered up two double mattresses and held them in front of the fire to warm them up. We gathered all the blankets and warmed them up as well. We threw it all on the floor in front of the fire and then discussed how we would keep warm. There was no question that this situation was beyond serious. We were all starting to shake with the damp cold. I knew that sleeping fully clothed would leave us freezing after we wake up so without a thought I just hopped in T-shirt and ginch. I was freezing and exhausted I actually started to fall to sleep right away. Then I heard Mike say that he was going to sleep on the couch. The couch was 6 feet from the fire. "Might as well be outside," I said. Scott then adds the obvious comment, "Fag!" Mike had little to say but there was no way he was going to contribute to the "closer to the fire plus body heat" theory that seemed to work for us. Through the night Scott and I took turns - I know what you're thinking, and as cold as it was neither of us "go there" - we took turns putting wood on the fire. The first time I got up I noticed two things. My 1/2 beer frozen solid beside the fire had not left the state of freezing even after blazing for over five hours. Then I looked back at Mike. He was wide-eyed and shaking. I suggested he join us, as he was 100 percent guaranteed to warm up. He was barely able to get, "No man," out because his face was so cold. I thought, another three hours and we hit the road. Scott seemed to be sleeping ok so I designated him as the driver. I told Mike that we would hit the road at 10:30 a.m.. He just shook his head in agreement. We woke up a short while later and packed up. Mike looked like shit because he had slept only a few short minutes. We got in the car cranked the heater and hit the road. On the way home we decided on when and how we would be heading back on the following weekend to clean up the mess after the power had been restored. Oddly Mike chose not to join us. What if... Oh come on, I said we don't go there. Besides if you'd let me finish... I meant, what if the power was out again?