Shawnah McCynzie


Go dance in the rain. Dance naked in the rain! Kiss the rain if you like. Don't worry about your hair. Don't walk under the trees in a thunder storm? Climb the trees. Rain and her counterparts are more perfect and earthly than the sun, the moon, and all the seasons put together. Everything large and plentiful to small and scarce evolves from rain. Without rain and lightning, perhaps there'd be no telephones, TV, lights and everything else powered by electricity. It is that of which you fear that too comes pleasure.

-Shawnah McCynzie

"On Thursday, April 27, 1984, Shawnah McCynzie, a Sophomore in Cutchogue Highschool was struck and killed while crossing Montauk Hwy. with her friend and twin brother. Only 16 years old, she was aspir-..."

-The TV shuts off-

A woman sits in a living room. A picture frame holds a portrait of herself and her two Children. Twins. Both blond-haired, blue eyed. Shawn and Shawnah. How perfectly generic. She cups her hand over her mouth. Squeezes her eyes shut, draws in a chest full of air and releases a weak and desperate sigh. Funeral is in an hour...

Brown leather Dexter shoes walk ominously down the hall. Tacky, flowered wallpaper blankets it. Starting to turn into the bathroom, a blond head of hair needs gel, but a shimmering object coming from her room catches his attention. Tears involuntarily come as he walks briskly through her plain room. He picked up the lighted object that he had seen from the hallway. It was the locket that he had given her for their birthday. The sun had caught it just perfectly. She had put a picture of the two of them in it.

A thousand thoughts crossed his mind in those seconds that he looked at them together, something that would never be again but nothing in this world does he desire more than to see her. He can still feel her. He quickly snapped the locket shut and he put it in her jewelry box. Where it should have been to begin with. He wondered if she had planned on wearing it that day. Maybe if she had.....fuck it, nevermind. it doesn't make a difference now what she wore. Things are all fucked up. He looked in the mirror that was on her vanity. He can see her looking back into him. She is in him. They share something much more than just siblings, deeper than a superficial bond. Inexplicable. He looks at the reflection of the door in the mirror. He pictures that she comes walking down the hallway. He thinks she is, he can feel her strong now. She is next to him. He stays there for a prolonged length of time. He isn't sure how long he was there.

Hey, can we go to the docks? Shawnah had a light beautiful feminine voice. There's always someone down there. That sounds cool... there's nothing else to do anyway. A nomination form her brother. Thats a deal then? Good!

Her friend, now just a shadow in his memory, he can't even remember her name, he'd never met her before, thought it would be interesting. This is a good idea. The alcohol and THC was setting in thick now. They came to Montauk Hwy. The lights made their heads spin and the cars were screaming. The cars just kept coming endlessly. Legs were shaky, muscles were loose, eyes hung low.

They will stop for us, they won't hit us. Ok lets go then.

He took her hand, and started into the Highway. She was scared, she screamed, finger nails dug so hard into his wrist that her nail beds turned white and she broke the nails on her right hand, the hand he was holding.

They were in the middle of the first lane. Only three and a half more to go. Four angry wheels, raging towards them, at speeds just above eighty. She pulled back to get to the safety of the shoulder, where her friend was. Shawn pulled her forward, she pulled back still. Clumsy, drunk, sweaty hands slip and she falls in the center of the lane. Shawn looks back, just in time to see the front bumper of a car hit her and she was gone. He saw her long blond hair thrown forward followed in turn by her body. The car screeched to a stop, skidding and swerving. It was a woman, she was putting on her lipstick. She didn't see them. He isn't sure how long he had been standing in the highway, or what the lady did, he doesn't remember what his other half looked like laying there in the road. He was just numb, inside and out. Tears flood, they are hot and running their path down his face. Just gently. And its just the start of the rain that is to come....

tell a friend about