Loner's Lament

by Jonathan Dy

Intense squinting reveals the actual time of 8:45 on this eve of the day we have dedicated to one St. Valentine. Driving in my car, I am purely content on spending the rest of the night here, alone with Ol Maroon, my 1986 Civic, my designated true love on this day. And as I am not about to take the ol girl out for dinner or buy her flowers or make love to this 13 year old modified lawn mower, she is what keeps me company, what keeps me warm. She's got a nice set of vents whispering hot air into the confined automobile, preventing the chilling air from invading my dance with her. I pump her clutch and downshift her to third as the pleasant sound of her revving to high intense levels resonates within me. As erotic as you sicko's out there think this may be, it's nothing at all like that. My point here is while every non-single guy is out there pampering his gal with flowers and chocolates at extravagant restaurants or vice versa, I am to spend the night driving around... alone.

  Now, what I ask is for people to withhold their pity for guys like me, not to feel sorry for me and not to think I'm some perverted freak for writing that car bit. When faced with what seems like a situation prompting negative emotions, we must turn it all around and admire the positives. For example, you're not forced into being sucked into the consumeristic approach to celebrating an event. I mean it just happened at Christmas time, where everyone with enough money had to buy for him, buy for her, buy for it, but no one is fully at fault in these situations because that's the way we were brought up and that's what we are accustomed to. Now this may not apply to all, but it applies to me and I'm all that matters 'round here right?

  Another positive of a single-person's Valentine's day is the fact that he/she doesn't have to go with the flow and put aside all issues and treat his/her better half like kings and queens just because it's expected that everyone's happy and in that 'romantic' mode. It's like everyone puts on a costume and plays the same act as the next couple. Here I am thinking that if you're in a relationship, shouldn't everyday or most days involve similar feelings as those felt on Valentine's day? I mean, does it actually take that one day to show him/her how much you love him/her? But then again, what do I know about relationships and how they work? Maybe being in a relationship is really not all that good and this particular day IS definitely needed to rekindle that 'flame'. Yes, I know, that's a ridiculous thought. Maybe I'm thinking this up for the sake of thinking, putting no thought into my thinking. Don't you hate that? Come to think of it, the only reason I look forward to this 14th day of February is cuz no matter where you go, you can find those little red cinnamon hearts... now those are kick ass! I feel like having hot chocolate right now! Anyway...

  Just one question: since Valentine's Day is such a romantic day, does that mean public displays of affection are allowable? Cuz that's just the last thing I want, a massive public orgy to remind me just how alone I am while cruising around all alone in the ol girl, my Ol Maroon, my lone companion on this night, my squeaky '86 Honda Civic. (UPDATE: Squeaky Maroons is currently on the shelf with a dead battery and perhaps more... stay tuned for further health updates.)

  What I want to say to all those who are about to celebrate this joyous, happy, romantic, festive occasion, or whatever emotions are felt at this time, is have a happy and healthy St. Valentine's Day and a merry rest of the year I guess. And for those who are without a better half or a ball-and-chain, whatever you see your "partner" as, I bid you good day!

  Driving down the abandoned streets, peeking through the restaurant windows, I notice smiles all around and wonder what the atmosphere in there feels like, with everyone acting all lovey-dovey. I smile and realize that I am fortunate to not have to experience such a dreadful day, who needs it, who really cares about it, who really knows who St. Valentine was and what he did to create such an occasion promoting public orgies? All I know is that I couldn't care less that I'm alone and all I need is my inner peace and my roaring set of wheels. These thoughts are followed by a sputtering of the old girl. She slows to a halt and settles at the side of the road as all power is lost. This time, I have no say in whether she is to continue on. She is finished. Stranded on the side of the road, I now know that feeling of being alone. Boy, wouldn't a Valentine's dinner with a loved one be great right about now! ... and so goes my life...

  As the little car scenario I have presented you with is no more than a premonition for this coming February 14th, I can guarantee you that it won't be too far off from how I will actually be spending that oh-so-happy day.