Jonathan Dy
A second of admiration towards the fallen leaves makes me realize the true beauty of the autumn season. The final plunge of each leaf marks the end of a life more intricate than one would imagine. The fall marks the end of summer, the commencement of the cold-as-death winters.

  A glance at the leaf strewn ground below reveals a picturesque image of sightly colors, not unlike a majestic painting. The cool post-shower air is chilling but at the same time very relaxing and refreshing.

  I take my bathrobe off and begin to put on some clothes, aware that I am alone. But am I?

  I turn once again to admire the scenic fall and in a flash, a squirrel rushes by on the window sill, startling me as if I had just seen a ghost. The heart beat quickens and a deep breath is taken to the realization that it's no more than a squirrel in search of a way down from that second floor ledge. I think nothing of it and continue to clothe myself. Ten seconds later, I see the same squirrel run by startling me once again (hey I know it's only a squirrel but whaddaya expect, the thing is a frickin foot away from me) but this time, it stops to stare at me.

  I look directly into it's eyes, almost hypnotized. No more than a foot away from me, only separated by a thin piece of glass, I had to bravely make my move. Half naked, I quickly reached to turn the blinds up so that it couldn't watch me change.

  Ladies and gents, I felt violated! Take heed my fellow humans, we are apparently in the presence of a NEW breed of squirrels. I noticed something peculiar about this "Peeping Squirrel", it's eyes seemed to pierce through me and into my brain, freezing me, not allowing me to think. Now, I must warn ye readers: do not stare directly into it's eyes!!! I can luckily say that I have escaped it's hold on me with my unprecedented mental powers, but all ye commoners must be very, very careful.

  They seem to like window ledges so, if you happen to be near an open window and a suspicious looking squirrel approaches you, yeah, I would jump. Take the plunge, I mean it's not worth experiencing such a horrendous encounter, as I am still in rehabilitation from my confrontation. Come to think of it, I honestly recall this happening with a bird as well. I remember a bird once coming up to my window and just looking in. I don't think I was changing at that particular time but it still stared at me, very much like the squirrel did. I'm beginning to wonder if:

  A. birds and animals find something attractive about my window sill.

  B. birds and animals are planning on taking over the world and are currently spying on us upper-class, intellectual individuals for our thinking and functioning patterns.

  C. birds and animals suddenly have sexual feelings towards us humans, or just me in particular.

  D. I look like an attractive squirrel/bird of the opposite sex of those I encountered.

  Word to the wise: Ladies and gentlemen, consider this word of warning. Buy a shotgun. Protect yourself. Encourage the purchasing of shotguns and the jumping out of windows to avoid the all-mighty peeping squirrel.

  Synopsis: Perverted squirrels tend to pollute the human mind with inane thoughts.

  Note: What you have just read is a true story

  Double Note: True stories may contain exaggerations.

  Triple Note: True stories with exaggerations of such magnitude are geared towards wasting your time.

  Quad Note: Your time has just been wasted.