by Jonathan Dy
The Grizzly brown creature stared right into my eyes, matching every movement I made. It's glare was one that evoked fear in the eyes of all. It's brown furry exterior seemed to take up more room than any of it's kind, I got worried. It was a cold day, so I stepped away from the mirror and made my way to school.
I didn't care if I looked like a grizzly, or a mammoth, I didn't want to be cold. This is a lesson in itself people, no matter what animal you may look like wearing your winter jacket, be it a grizz, a woolly mammoth, a beluga, a lion or a camel; it's much better than freezing yer arse off. The downside of this though, is that you may perhaps invade the personal space of those you sit next to on the bus or train. A piece of advice: If you do, in fact, bring BIG WOOLLY onto that bus, give it a seat of it's own, it has feelings too ya know!
One day this past week, I neglected Woolly's emotions and it hit me as I was going down the escalator, it also hit a girlish-boy's ass at the bus stop on Wednesday. It's all fun and games until Woolly gets mad, that's my motto!
Sometimes when I'm wearing Woolly, I feel like walking on all fours for some reason, and feel like I'm being chased by savage cavemen. Once you wear a winter coat, they say you become one with it and it's feelings. I don't know, they say it's a myth, but, what really is a myth anyway? A myth is a non-animal looking winter jacket!
For those who believe me not, I'll reveal to you this bit of information: there was the purchase of a chocolate bar at an earlier date with plans made for future consumption. The bar-o-chocolate was placed SECURELY into the right outer pocket of me mammoth for storage as an emergency ration. The owner of the jacket felt mighty hungry after a long days work and decided to make use of the ration. Little did he know, the chocolate bar was missing! The jacket was under strict supervision by its owner and it couldn't possibly have been stolen by anyone. I didn't feed Woolly at all that day... hmmm... I think you can draw your own conclusions!!!
[In addition to this edition of WOT, Jon has also composed a poem the festive nature entitled Holiday Hogwash. Warning; not for the little ones...]