Wisdom Through Humor
Why Gas Prices Soar

by Mak Faene

Well the one good thing that seems to be coming of these sky rocketing petrol prices is that it gives Joe Schmuck something to complain about around the dinner table.

And I should know, I am one Joe Schmuck as much as the next slob. But what I feel it necessary to remind myself is that this growing tax on my wallet is in fact a hole I've helped to dig. Blaming a faceless oil cartel is easy. Here watch:

Fuckin' OPEC bastards.

And I whole heartily stand by that statement. The oil and gas mammoths are a bunch of greedy bastards. But pointing fingers is far too easy than taking responsibility for one's own actions as well.

I drive, therefore I am. We willingly submit to the machine that is our modern Western society. We accept that we will cause grid lock on the infrastructure laid out between our modular homes on a daily basis. We accept that we are destroying the atmosphere of this, our one planet, thus dooming the future generation we greedily conceive under the pressure of our animal core. We accept living and working in giant metropolitan clusters where we reduce our power of individuality to the point of being held prisoner by something as simple as an oil company.

I don't need oil and gasoline to live. My car does. I don't need my car to live. But I need it to get to work. I don't need my job to live, but I need the pay cheque to buy the food I need to live. The gas company knows this.

So how do I turn the tables? Several months ago there was an email chain letter going around that urged people to boycott gasoline for a single day. It would seem that yet again one such email is making the internet rounds urging the same for this year but for a whopping three days. Ooh. I'm sure this brilliant little ploy will send those gas moguls reeling. This will not affect the gas situation on single bit. Even if the boycott from April 7th to 9th were respected by the majority of drivers (which it won't be) the service stations will only see a rise in business the couple days before and the couple days after the boycott. It will even out completely and the oil company that sells to the service station will see no change in it's regular petrol order.

See, every one knows that there's no way in hell they would agree to go without using their car for even a single day. If you own a car, then chances are very great that you are not going to give up that luxury to travel with the other dredges of society on the god-for-saken bus for a whole day, let alone three days. And the oil companies know that too.

But somehow, the complaining persists. The whining and frustrated glares at ever rising prices of gasoline continues by people who have willingly submitted to this life style. The oil companies are only as greedy as we allow them to be with our laziness and malicious disregard for our atmosphere.

Fuckin' OPEC bastards!

You know there are a multitude of solutions to this situation (along with solutions to many other ills of modern life). None of which will likely satisfy most of us. You could car pool? Or worse yet, use p-p-public transportation? Or even - brace yourself for this one - dust off your bicycle and work off that fat ass of yours? So there are solutions. But they're a little more involved that complaining. Besides, wait a few months and we'll just get used to paying retarded amounts of money of gasoline anyway. Either that, or we'll be selling it by the gallon on Ebay.


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