Wisdom Through Humor
Ordinary Stars

Justin Guy

So America is now hooked on what Time magazine has aptly called "Voyeur TV".

This is great. I love that we're all one step closer to having televised executions like in some B sci-fi movie attempting to make a point about the deterioration of society.

As often as I've seen an add for TV's "Survivor" or "Big Brother" I've heard pundits begging the question, "Why?". Why are we fascinated by these television shows in which we can watch ordinary people struggle, win big, fight, back stab and be horribly shamed before our very eyes?

Gee that's a tough one... Hey here are a few ideas. One; it's on TV so hey, I just have to sit there with my bag of chips. Two; I can mock the poor ordinary bastards at will when they fail like when I'm driving on the freeway and I slow down to ogle an accident. Three; I can masturbate to the pretty "ordinary" faces that remind me of the neighbours I never talk to.

So where's this fascination about the fascination coming from? These are but a few of the many psycho-socio reasons that I, the average slob, love Voyeur TV.

What does irk me though is another element to this infatuation. The element in itself of the ordinary star. That twisted skank who married the so call millionaire loser on Fox a few months ago, is going to get a spread (pardon the pun) in Playboy Magazine and is currently shopping around to have her own talk show. The recent survivor outcasts have been making the late night TV rounds and even showed up on Larry King's show. And let's not forget everyone's favourite everyday intern who gave the world's most powerful rocket an oil change and built a career out of the residuals.

There's a sick and dysfunctional Cinderella story going on here that we find endlessly captivating. That ordinary people can become stars.

Well here's your wake up call America: Celebrities are just ordinary people too!

No, it's true. Tom Cruise picks his nose, Julia Roberts farts and Wil Smith has bad breath in the morning. Shocking isn't it?

If we didn't treat movies stars like they walked on water then maybe we wouldn't be so enthralled by the concept of the ordinary Joe becoming an over night super star. Maybe the assembly line crew of slobs that build our televisions are the ones we should praise as gods. After all, they're the providers of TV, bow down! Ah, but then Entertainment Tonight would have to be brought to us via satellite from Malasia or wherever the TV factory is... But I'm straying from the subject here aren't I?

Alright, to sum up; watching my neighbours through a key hole, not cool. Watching them on TV, excellent. We should bear in mind that celebrities are only celebrities because they're on TV and they're not one TV because they're special. And that Julia Roberts has taken steaming, stinking, and down right rank dumps just like you and me.


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