Wisdom Through Humor
Rerun Fun

tyler gibb

Summer is a time for vacationing. Summer is a time for relaxation. Summer is a time to screw the editor and just take some time off... Thus, summer is a time for reruns!

Hey, we're always looking for new contributors to the Currents area here at, so why no drop me a line at if you're interested in being the new voice online!

So what was i saying about summer? Oh yeah, reruns. Filler for lack of any new content... Say that reminds me of the time my good ol' buddy Jon Dy wrote:

"Have you ever seen them do it? Yes well, I've seen it a couple of times (no, I don't look for these things when flipping through the channels) and both times I kinda got a shiver from the mammilian sex scene. Not like a good-feeling, chill-down-my-spine type shiver, more like a freaky, disgusted shiver. They swim belly to belly and the male's thing-a-ma-jig darts out and makes a mad dash right into the female's doohicky... The horrifying affair takes no more than 5 seconds or so. Talk about a quicky. Picture a wiry umbilical cord plugging into a belly-button, and there my friends, you have dolphin sex." - from Strange Animal Habits, by Jon Dy ( 3.5).

Reading that seems so obscure and comical that it reminded me of what Kenneth Pike (who's on hiatus for a couple years) once wrote:

"But I digress. I've decided to delude myself. In my cheap Sri Lankan copy of the 'Existentialomicon' I found an obscure reference to the philosophy of the Absurd, a subset, if you will, of the existentialist philosophy. It goes pretty deep, but the short version goes something like this: life is absurd. Deal with it." - from Ignorance is Bliss, by Kenneth Pike ( 2.11).

Ah, so many words of wisdom have been passed on to you via over these past couple years that it's often difficult to keep track. Of course some words will be remembered always around here, like the time we let marc schultz talk about god:

"If god is omnipotent, omniscient, incorporeal and all knowing, he, by virtue of his nature, will know all that is going on and all that will transpire in the physical world; if he doesn't then he is imperfect like you and me. This means god knows that a woman will be sexually violated every eight minutes in this country, he must know if he is the creator." - from God Is So Dead, by marc schultz ( 2.4).

Boy that takes me back... Marc still holds the record for largest number of letters regarding a single article for that piece... Hm... I've got no witty segue here, not like the charismatic local news reporters that Viki Reed writes about in "The Duh Report":

""Skiers and snow-boarders who use helmets lower their risk of head injury, according to the results of a preliminary study. The findings were presented last month during the annual meeting of the Congress of Neurological Surgeons." Who knows what else this group of wealthy professionals will uncover... Crashing into trees hurts... Don't go flying off the side of a mountain... Wear the heaviest socks possible when spending hours in the snow..." - from The Duh Report, by Viki Reed ( 3.2).

Hey that was sort of in keeping with something Anna Wrote as well:

"We're getting stupider.

"I'd like to ignore it, but that's difficult when examples keep punching me in the face. And man, am I bruised. It's this typical vicious cycle where we lower standards to help people out, so they get stupider, and then we have to lower them again, and you know where this goes. And it is everywhere." - from Smarten Up, by Anna Sheftel ( 3.2).

But at the end of the day i like to reflect on the words of wisdom brought to us by one of our wisest contributors, Andersen:

"Let's enjoy the journey with our fellow travelers, not just the destination. The past is history. The future is uncertain. Here and now is a gift. Perhaps that is why we call it The Present.

"Think of the mysterious blue hue in the whites of the eyes in a newborn baby. Marvel at its tiny fingernails. Read Moby Dick again. Skip down the street. If we think of life as a terminal illness, we might live life with joy and passion. This is our only shot. There is no second take." - from That Was Zen - This Is Tao, by Anna Sheftel ( 3.5).

Good times! So i suppose this means summer's not so bad after all! Go now, read, enlighten and relax, while you're here, you're on vacation!


Nice Guy

00/Aug/01 - Michael would like to register a complaint about misuse of the word "nice".

Burning Your Fifteen Minutes at Both Ends

00/Jul/24 - Viki with lessons on how not to blow your fifteen minutes of fame.

Society In Decline

00/Jul/17 - Marc's vacation was not televised, but it could have been.

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